Why I Changed My Wardrobe: Ramblings on Modesty

Disclaimer: I’ve avoided talking about modesty because it has been made into a huge deal in conservative circles. It’s a woman’s job to not provoke men to lust and if they fall, it is her fault. Women are shamed if they aren’t completely covered. Women are held responsible for many things that are the fault of the men. This isn’t right. Please keep that in mind as you read this post. This isn’t intended to bash women or guilt them into wearing specific clothes. These are simply my personal convictions and the reasons that I dress the way I do. Enjoy!

It was summer in Utah, and we were at farmer’s market. I wore a tight, revealing tank top and a tight, short skirt. I sported a pixie haircut and felt very modern.

For many years, I’d been the good, conservative, Christian girl. I had long hair; I always wore shirts and
occasionally head coverings. I knew all the good Christian talk and rhetoric. But I’d recently turned eighteen and I was tired of it all.

I was tired of “the injustice” of the conservative mindset. I was angry with one girl specifically and I took
my annoyance out on everyone who was ultra conservative. I’d just started a new job, and I was so tired of being different and sticking out. I desperately wanted to appear confident and normal.

I chopped my hair off and got a very short, rather masculine, pixie. I tossed my skirts in a heap and bought tight jeans. I was so done being weird. I was going to be normal for once.

That Saturday, at the market, I grinned as I strode confidently through the booths. No one would mistake me for one of those strange conservative girls now! (I forgot that I had my large family trailing along with me).

Then we stopped at a stand run by Mennonites. The girls wore dresses and had their heads were covered. Instantly, I was filled with shame and embarrassment. I felt half naked and exposed. I couldn’t wait to get home and change into a sweatshirt and baggy pants.

However, I continued to dress in a more modern way. I hated tight clothes. I felt exposed and unsure of myself. I couldn’t walk past men without feeling horribly uncomfortable and ashamed. But I ignored all those things and pressed forward. No pain, no gain!

The next couple years were filled with a lot of darkness for me. My walk with God was in shambles. I chose the world over my Savior. It was the most miserable time in my life.

At the end of 2023, God opened my eyes to a lot of sin and gave me the choice to come to Him or go to the world (that’s another story for another time). In the end, I returned to God, and as I began to read the
Bible and change things in my life, God showed me that the way that I dressed was not honoring to Him.

God was working in the heart of Jehosheba around the same time, and we talked about going back to skirts and covering our heads. After a lot of prayer and thought, we bought skirts and head coverings, and set a date to begin our new way of dressing.

Part of me dreaded being the odd one out again; the awkward
homeschooler that everyone could spot a mile away.

God reminded me that as Christians we are not going to fit in. We are supposed to be different! The world will look at us and laugh, mock, be confused, or angry. If we look like the world, if we talk like the world, if the world accepts us and loves us…are we really living a life set apart and holy to God?

“If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.”

John 15:19

Am I bashing mini skirts and tank tops? Do I believe that you will go to hell if you don’t dress like me? Absolutely not. This is a personal conviction. I do encourage you to pray about the clothes that you wear and seek Him in that matter.

I’m also not for the idea that women should wear potato sacks and look frumpy. There are plenty of beautiful, stylish ways to dress that draw attention to you as a person, not just one part of your body. I’m not against pants, shorts, or tank tops. I choose not to wear them because that’s what God has convicted me of personally. You may have different convictions or none at all. That’s between you and God.

We live in such a sexualized culture. Everywhere we look we run into billboards, books, movies, and
women dressed in next to nothing.

Ladies, I get it. We want to be desired, we want to have people think that we are lovely, to be attracted to us. That desire is from God.

God gave us attractive bodies, and He made us desirable. I don’t agree with people who say that it needs
to be extinguished, and that our beauty simply a trap for men. No, it’s a gift to us and to men, and we must be guardians of our beauty and protect it for our future husband.

Our culture tells women that if we want to be desired and noticed, we have to dress like the people we see in movies and commercials. Men notice our beauty, so we think that they must notice us, not just our
bodies.

I don’t think most young women who dress provocatively are out to seduce men. They just want to be noticed, and told that they’re beautiful, and they don’t always know how else to get that attention. But girl, you don’t want that kind of attention. They might be attracted to our bodies, but that’s empty and worthless if they don’t want us.

Please don’t think I’m bashing women and saying that male lust is a woman’s fault. Men are absolutely responsible for their eyes and thoughts. But if the way we are dressed causes them to sin, are we right
before God?

Here are four reasons why I choose to dress conservatively. I’d love to hear your thoughts on these and if
you agree/disagree. Let’s have a discussion in the comments! (You can also message me from the contact page. )

Honor God

I want all of me to honor God. If I can dress in a way that makes it clear(er) that I’m a Christian, that’s
wonderful. God has given me this conviction and if I continued to wear the other clothes, it would be sin
for me. I am choosing to let go of my desperate desire to blend in so I can obey what God placed on my heart. ❤

Honor Men

We’ve all heard the saying that men are visual creatures, but I didn’t realize how much until I was reading up on it (don’t ask why, haha). If my very presence in an immodest outfit will cause a man to struggle with temptation, I will be accountable to God.

Again, men are absolutely responsible for their thoughts and actions, but knowing more about how men think, it would be sin for me to dress in a way that temps them (not that I’m pretty anyway, haha. I’m twenty, still single, and the only interest I’ve ever had is from creepy old men on Christian dating sites *gags and vomits*🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮)

Honor Women

The other day, I was out walking and passed two teens taking the dog out. One had a full face of makeup,
flawless hair, a shirt that was basically just a bra, and a pencil skirt. She was gorgeous.

My first though was, “She is quite pretty.”
Quickly followed by, “How does she keep her face so nice and pimple-free? How long did it take her to put on all that makeup?”

And then, “Eek, this is so awkward, they’re looking at me. I’m dressed like such a conservative weirdo! They’re
probably thinking I crawled out from under a rock and don’t know the first thing about real life. *sighs* Everyone who glances in her direction is dazzled by her beauty, and I’m over here sweltering in a million layers of clothes. I
practically blend in with the dirt.”

It is soooo easy to walk past a beautiful, scantily clad woman and fall into comparison, discontent, and
self-hatred. Of course, we ladies do that even when other women are fully clothed. But the more skin we can see, the easier it is to be discontent with our own.

I want to honor other women by dressing in a way that doesn’t encourage comparison and self-hatred. I also want
to set a good example for younger women that modesty isn’t just something for old, prudish women. I want to show that modesty can be a beautiful thing.

A change in culture starts with each of us.

Honor My Body

Finally, I want to honor my own body. I never felt comfortable dressed in a less conservative way. I was very uneasy around men in general and I hated walking past them (yes, I walk a lot). I
felt on display and half naked. I thought dressing like the world would give me confidence, but it didn’t. I was uncomfortable in my own skin, and anxious every time I was near a man.

I can’t tell you the difference that wearing skirts and covering my head has made. I feel so much safer around men in general. I can walk past them and not feel ashamed. I can smile at them. For
the first time in ages, I am comfortable in my skin (most of the time anyway) and I don’t want to shrivel up and hide in a hole every time I’m near someone I don’t know.

I know I’m doing my part to honor the people around me and my God by covering myself.

Modesty isn’t a prison. It doesn’t confine me. I am not oppressed. I am not a doormat. Modesty give me the freedom to be myself, to be confident, to be seen as something more than a body.

When I see a woman who is dressed provocatively, I think, “Wow, she is so pretty! But why is she dressed that way? A desire to be seen? Growing up in a culture that said that was the only way to be noticed? A desire to be beautiful?”

When I see a woman dressed modestly, I think, “I respect her so much. Look at how beautiful she is. She is honorable. She is set apart, and I want to know her for her.”

This has been far too long and has rambled all over the place. I’m very tired and scatter brained. 😅 If you made it to the end, congrats. 🎉

Many hugs to my fellow women. ❤ It’s tough. You’re doing great. I pray that God will bless you in your journey. Let God’s light shine through you.

–Hattush

What are your thoughts on modesty? Do you agree or disagree with what I’ve said? Do you think women should dress conservatively? Why or why not? I’d LOVE to hear all your thoughts –
agreement, disagreement, opinions, etc.! Let’s chat!