Unpopular Opinions on Clothes By An Angry Human

Warning: This post was written a couple months ago when I was in a bad mood and was annoyed by the world. XD While I stand by (most) of my opinions here, I’m not normally this angry. XD

In my humble (correct) opinion, shopping for clothes should be a form of torcher. The stereotype that all girls love shopping is a BIG FAT LIE. I hate it. I would prefer to do just about anything else. Scrub floors for an hour? Sure, as long as I can listen to my audiobooks. Run five miles? No worries. But to spend half a day going from store to store, being surrounded by crowds, looking at bright, ugly, uncomfortable clothes… nope.

(Yes, we spent the day doing just that. By the fifth store, the boys were punching each other, Yoveil was whining, Dovid had streaks of dirt running down his face from unsuccessful attempts at break-dancing and all of the other shoppers were looking at us like we were freaks. 😡)

In any case, here are my personal and perhaps unpopular opinions on popular clothing. *bows*

Shoes

Shoes are, as Jehosheba said, meant to protect your feet from sharp objects. You only need one or two pairs to survive. Not a closet full.

I also think that high heels are torture. They were probably invented by a man. I always feel bad when I see women wearing them because they are so painful.

I’ve worn them once. When I was a naive twelve-year-old, I found a pair in one of the numerous miscellaneous shoe bags at my house. We were going to get our yearly pictures taken (dreaded times) and I thought that it would be a perfect opportunity to wear those beautiful, painful shoes. I also thought that I would have no problem walking the 1/4 mile to the chosen spot by the lake.

I was terribly wrong.

After about ten steps, I realized that it was impossible to balance. So off went the shoes and the little gravel bits that bit my feet the rest of the walk were nowhere near as painful as the shoes.

In general, though, I just like going barefoot wherever possible.

Socks

The worst part about socks? The little fuzzies that they leave between your toes. *shudders* So gross. For years I completely avoided wearing socks because I couldn’t stand the feeling of them rubbing against my skin or the gifts left behind. *gags*

(Now tragically I have to wear socks every day at work. *gags* So awful…they literally make me tired.)

Socks should be breathable, otherwise, your feet stink and life is miserable.

Bras

I wouldn’t be surprised if these were also invented by a man. All I’ll say is that they are pieces of torcher. I envy cultures where it isn’t expected that you’ll wear them. If you’re a woman, you know what I mean. *sighs* Have I mentioned how much I hate tight, restrictive clothes?

Pants

I didn’t wear pants (except for a couple years when I was a little baby) until I was sixteen. Literally never. I think I owned one pair of PJ bottoms and I never put them on because I preferred to sleep in my skirts. I remember once I randomly thought, “Hey, I’ll wear them”. I came downstairs and my little brother stared at me in shock.

“I’ve never seen you wear pants before. You look so weird.”

When I was sixteen, I bought my first pair of jeans. I gotta say they were not comfortable at all. But I wore them because I had foolish thoughts of ditching the skirts because I was mad at conservative homeschoolers who said I had to wear them or I’d be sinning.

I wear jeans now and I even got three new ones recently. But I just wear them to work and on random occasions when I need to dress uncomfortably and fit in so that everyone doesn’t comment on my skirts (nice comments, but that means that the attention is on me and I really really try to avoid that as much as possible).

Dresses

When I was ten or eleven, I went through a strange clothes phase. Anytime we went anywhere I thought it was absolutely essential to dress up and look super nice. Of course, I had no idea what normal people wore, so I’d scan my closet for the clothes that I thought were beautiful. Normally that was a dress with my beloved skirt underneath and as many necklaces as I could drape around my neck.

I remember one time my parents were taking a missions class and my siblings and I were confined to the basement with the rest of the children. I was the only one there dressed in a red dress, three necklaces, sandals (that were falling apart because I refused to let Mama throw them away and get me new ones) and a big red sash tied around my waist.

I was also the fastest girl there when it came to running and I took great delight in outrunning the two boys my age, chasing them around the playground and tackling them, and dragging them away to wherever we decided the prison was. 😂 I remember one of the babysitters whispering to Mama that she had no clue how I could run so fast with all of those clothes.

Skirts

As stated, skirts are my babies. But NOT ANY SKIRTS. I cannot stand any tight ones. Skirts should be full and flowing so that you can actually move your legs.

Mini skirts, aside from being inappropriate, look awfully uncomfortable. You should be able to bend over and sit down without worrying that the world will be graced with your underwear.

Jean skirts that are long and straight and not A-shaped are awful because you can literally only waddle around. Jehosheba used to wear those skirts and I never knew how she could stand to be so uncomfortable.

Skirts should have a long lifetime. I remember when I was ten, I found a skirt at a church clothes giveaway (or something like that). It was a long, beautiful brown & flowered pattern. I wore it nearly every day until I was thirteen. It tore numerous times, but I always sewed it back up. The colors were perfect because they hit literally every stain – from dirt to ketchup to watermelon juice (yes it stains horribly).

I was so insanely sad when that beloved skirt was gone for good. The fabric was so thin by that time that it tore at every little thing. I was afraid to leave the house without my sewing kit. I cut it up and made a bag out of it. XD

Another skirt I got at the same time as that one, I still have now. It’s a little old but it still has many years left in it. So comfortable, so easy to clean and so durable.

Skirts are my favorite thing to wear, hands down.

Tight Shirts

*gags* I hate tight shirts. They’re uncomfortable, I can’t move in them and I have no one to impress. Sometimes I wear them to work because the rest of my clothes are dirty and I’m too lazy to do laundry or because I’m supposed to go somewhere nicer, but they (like socks) literally make me tired. As soon as I get home (after feeding my beloved baby gliders) I toss the stinking things into the nearest bin and change into my big, baggy t-shirts or hoodies.

I was a weird kid. Nothing’s really changed, I’m just more aware of what is socially acceptable now. XD And so ends my rant on the clothing of today. People are obsessed with tighter, thinner, smaller clothes and I personally think that it is stupid and uncomfortable. Clothing is for covering and it should be comfortable. You can’t enjoy yourself when you are constantly in pain over what you are wearing.

~Hattush

Your opinions? Do you believe that clothes should be comfortable or that beauty is worth the pain?