Sometimes I feel like Connie Kendall from AIO. She’s always wondering what she’s doing in life and I empathize.
I’ll be seventeen in a few months. In less than two years, I’ll be “officially an adult”. Where’d the time go? It seems like just yesterday that I was a little girl playing with dolls or a tween wondering where I belonged. How’d I get here?
People ask me, “What are you going to do with your life? What are your plans after high school?”
I stare at them with that blank, this-is-awkward look and shrug. “Eeeeh, we’ll see.”
So many other people around my age seem to know what direction they’re going. I barely have a clue. I’m interested in writing but it is more of a hobby and a way to express myself. I’m not good enough to be an author. I love music, but can’t sing to save my life and don’t play any instruments at all. I enjoy baking, but again it is a hobby and I don’t think I could do it full time.
As a little girl, I wanted to be a wife and mother. That dream has faded quite a bit. I love kids but I doubt there is any guy who would want to deal with the Depths of Me 24/7. (I don’t always want to deal with it myself XD)
I wanted to be a chicken farmer. But I’m not interested in that anymore. I still love chickens, but I don’t want to raise/kill/sell them for the rest of my life.
I thought about being a photographer, but you guys have seen my photography. *coughs* I can’t take pictures of people at all. 🙄
Since I loved kids and babies, I wondered about being a midwife. I’m still considering that one. XD
For 90% of my life, I wanted to be a missionary….I’m seriously doubting that now for so many reasons.
I thought about becoming a therapist for about six months. They’re awesome people, but I would have a really hard time being one because I internalize people’s pain and feel it along with them. (Blessing and curse, yes).
So lil old me is still wondering what on earth I’m doing here in this giant world. I’m not good with people. I’m not great at problem solving. I love artistic type things, but all of humanity is better than I am. XD I’m shy. I’m weird. I’m short (tragically). I want to be the best at everything, but lack motivation to get there. I love helping hurt things. Where I’m going, I have no clue.
The future is unknown to us, but known to God. The path that I am supposed to walk will become clear eventually. Everything that I’ve learned, every pain that’s hurt me, every gift that’s brought a smile to my face will help me to accomplish what is mine to do.
Anybody have any ideas for my LIFE? XD LET ME KNOW! XD Do you relate to anything I said above? What are your plans for the future?