Where’s My Life Going?

Sometimes I feel like Connie Kendall from AIO. She’s always wondering what she’s doing in life and I empathize.

I’ll be seventeen in a few months. In less than two years, I’ll be “officially an adult”. Where’d the time go? It seems like just yesterday that I was a little girl playing with dolls or a tween wondering where I belonged. How’d I get here?

People ask me, “What are you going to do with your life? What are your plans after high school?”

I stare at them with that blank, this-is-awkward look and shrug. “Eeeeh, we’ll see.”

So many other people around my age seem to know what direction they’re going. I barely have a clue. I’m interested in writing but it is more of a hobby and a way to express myself. I’m not good enough to be an author. I love music, but can’t sing to save my life and don’t play any instruments at all. I enjoy baking, but again it is a hobby and I don’t think I could do it full time.

As a little girl, I wanted to be a wife and mother. That dream has faded quite a bit. I love kids but I doubt there is any guy who would want to deal with the Depths of Me 24/7. (I don’t always want to deal with it myself XD)

I wanted to be a chicken farmer. But I’m not interested in that anymore. I still love chickens, but I don’t want to raise/kill/sell them for the rest of my life.

I thought about being a photographer, but you guys have seen my photography. *coughs* I can’t take pictures of people at all. 🙄

Since I loved kids and babies, I wondered about being a midwife. I’m still considering that one. XD

For 90% of my life, I wanted to be a missionary….I’m seriously doubting that now for so many reasons.

I thought about becoming a therapist for about six months. They’re awesome people, but I would have a really hard time being one because I internalize people’s pain and feel it along with them. (Blessing and curse, yes).

So lil old me is still wondering what on earth I’m doing here in this giant world. I’m not good with people. I’m not great at problem solving. I love artistic type things, but all of humanity is better than I am. XD I’m shy. I’m weird. I’m short (tragically). I want to be the best at everything, but lack motivation to get there. I love helping hurt things. Where I’m going, I have no clue.

The future is unknown to us, but known to God. The path that I am supposed to walk will become clear eventually. Everything that I’ve learned, every pain that’s hurt me, every gift that’s brought a smile to my face will help me to accomplish what is mine to do.

~Hattush

Anybody have any ideas for my LIFE? XD LET ME KNOW! XD Do you relate to anything I said above? What are your plans for the future?

27 thoughts on “Where’s My Life Going?

  1. I know how that feels! I’m not 17 yet but when i discovered some shocking things about myself i also became a little stressed! But my mother was really helpful and helped me and then i realised i’ll go where ever life takes me! I think you should do the same! Ask your family and i’m sure it’ll help!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. You know, there is a thing in Anaheim called the full time training. It is like an in-depth study of God and His word. You have to have a degree first, so just choose something that is fascinating and maybe useful. Then you could come to the training. After that, you could be a full timer, someone who serves the Lord full-time. They have them at every locality of the churchlife, which is basically a bunch of people in different places following the Lord by His word. I could tell u more!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love this post. ❤ I can totally relate to it! I'm really not sure what I'm going to do after I graduate. I hope I get married pretty soon after, but of course, I can't know what's going to happen. I might expand my painting business, or start of photography business, or maybe teach classes online. I really don't know, but we'll see! It's sometimes hard to trust God with our future. But He does have a plan! ❤
    Btw, did you get my letter? 😀 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep. *hugs* Those are some really great ideas, though! I totally loooove your paintings and you are amazing at art! *heart eyes*
      YES! I got your letter!! It made me so happy! *dances around*

      Liked by 1 person

  4. What a neat post, Hattush! I’ll be eighteen in a couple months, and, for as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be a missionary. And I still do!–to the un-reached people groups. …BUUT, I don’t know exactly how it’ll all work out. I know there’ll be many difficulties, but with God’s help, I’m ready and waiting. (I’ve been VERY inspired by the many missionaries I’ve read about.)
    I don’t know if I’ll go to college. I don’t really have anything I want to go to college for! Except to find a husband. 😜 Which brings me to my next life goal. I want to get married and have AT LEAST 10 children. I LOVE little children. (When I was a bit younger, I thought that when I turned 18, I would adopt a child…but that dream has long since been shattered. Maybe after I get married I will).
    Well, in due time, God will direct you as to what you should do. Just be sensitive to His leading. Remember, even though you may not know what you will do, God knows, and He has known before the creation of the world. And, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9)
    You asked if anybody has any plans for your life. Well, this would be for when you become an adult, but my dad has an free, online three-year discipleship training program. You can find out all about it at this link: http://doulostrainingschool.blogspot.com/2015/08/doulos-training-school.html Pray about it, and see if the Lord wants you to join in a couple years! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s so neat that you want to be a missionary! Is there a specific place that has been laid on your heart? YES, I too have been sooo inspired by missionaries that I’ve read about! Who are some of your favorites?
      (Also, I think it is awesome that you want to have a lot of kids! *heart eyes*)
      Thank you for the encouraging and for sharing the link! That’s awesome! ❤

      Like

      1. I’ve thought of India as a place where I’d like to go.
        My favorites?! Well, as with anything, I’m terrible at picking a favorite. XD But, since you asked, I’ll try my best. 😄 I think two of them would be Joe and Millie Dawson of the Mission Padamo Aviation and Support. Ummm, another one is Bruce Olson who was a missionary to the Motilone tribe. Gladys Alyward would definitely be another one. Lets see, Mary Slessor, Samuel Zwemer, and many more that I think I’m forgetting.
        You’re welcome! 💗🤗

        Liked by 1 person

        1. India is a really interesting place!
          AHHH YES! I haven’t heard of all of those missionaries, but several of them! Their stories are so inspiring!

          Like

  5. “The future is unknown to us, but known to God. The path that I am supposed to walk will become clear eventually. Everything that I’ve learned, every pain that’s hurt me, every gift that’s brought a smile to my face will help me to accomplish what is mine to do.

    ~Hattush

    I nominate this quote to be in the first chapter of your book of “Quotes by Hattush”.
    Yes, it’s that good, and yes, you’re a good enough writer to be an author! 💖💖
    Whatever God tells you to do, just say yes. He is the One we answer to; His plan is perfect, and He will reveal it to you in as many or few pieces as He wants and all in His perfect time. In the meantime, you just have to be the best you that you can with His help. Consider everything He brings into your life as part of your training, and anticipate that lasting a lifetime. Your relationship with Him as King must be first, “and all these things shall be added unto you.” 💖💖

    Liked by 1 person

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