I’m sitting here with a cup of very hot cream-less coffee, contemplating the meaning of life.
Or not. I’m actually drinking coffee because I’m real tired
because I stayed up too late last night emailing, reading and listening to music. But I don’t think de drink doing anything…..maybe because I grabbed the decaf instead of the non-decaf….but the caffeinated cup I had RIGHT before this one SHOULD be waking me up by now, right? Anybody else find that coffee makes no difference in energy levels?? Just curious….
*hands you a cup of coffee* Let’s talk, friends.
Friend: Great! What do you want to talk about?
Me: *deer caught in headlights look* Uh….why don’t YOU pick the topic?
Friend: Uh, yeah, that’s not going to work.
Me: Why not?
Friend: Because we are in your head….you created us for the purpose of your blog post but we have no original ideas.
Me: *groan* Go away and I’ll find someone else to talk to.
Friend: *weeps* You don’t care about me!
*Searches around my brain for someone else to talk to*
Me: I found someone! Allow me to introduce you to….Mr. Coffee!
Mr. Coffee: So pleased to be here, Hattush.
Me: I’m glad! You know, I’m kind of nervous…I’ve never had a conversation with a cup of coffee before….
Mr. C: Not many people have. We are rather quiet drinks.
Me: I believe you. So, how do you enjoy your fame, being such a widely loved drink?
Mr. C: It’s not all it’s cracked up to be, this fame thing.
Me: How so?
Mr. C: People misunderstand us, they judge us, they toss us down the drains when THEY over-brew us and act like it is our fault…..
Mr. C: And worst of all…..they ruin us by dumping tons of Cream and Sugar in with us! Don’t they know that Cream and Coffee has had a family feud for over twenty years?! And Sugar?! *shudders* Sugar is the worst! You people have no idea that sugar is slowly killing you! DON’T YOU LITTLE KIDS KNOW BETTER THAN TO EAT LOLLYPOPS?! THEY ARE SUGAR COATED SUGAR!
Me: Uh, Mr. Coffee, I think –
Mr. C: COFFEE IS GOOD AND HEALTHY FOR YOU BUT DOES ANYONE CARE ABOUT THAT ANYMORE?!
Me: You’ve said enough –
Mr. C: I HAVEN’T EVEN STARTED!
Someone picks up the coffee cup and in a flash the cup is empty and the little voice is gone.
Me: Uh….It looks like we’ve lost Mr. Coffee….I hope whoever drank him enjoyed him…. *Ahem* Come back again and we’ll have another conversation with another popular drink!