Escape

PEOPLE! YES! It is finally RAINING here instead of snowing! Yay! (I just had to write that! XD 😛 )

Here is a story that I wrote a bit ago. 😉 Enjoy! 🙂

I stood by the door, undecided for a moment. I glanced back towards the only home I had ever known. If I left now, what would become of my siblings, my parents? The cold winter wind blew hard on my face. Pulling my sweater tighter around my already shivering body and clutching my bag of provisions, I took a step forward. Slipping through the gate of the fence that seemed to trap me, I began to slowly walk forward. There was no turning back now.

I walked along slowly, pondering what had led up to this step in my life. I had had a good life for all fourteen years that I had lived. My parents were kind and my siblings were fun to be around. I had plenty of food to eat and a warm, safe house. What had made me decide to leave all that I had ever known, for a life completely alone and in the cold? Maybe it was the ever-present sense that I wasn’t good enough. Maybe it was the fact that I couldn’t get beyond the bad things that I had done. Maybe it was because I felt like a burden on my family. Maybe it was because I hadn’t really felt joyful for a whole year. Maybe it was a combination of all of these things. I had to escape from the life of endless failure. I had to prove to myself that I was strong enough to care for myself and that I didn’t need anyone. Quickening my steps, I forced myself to ignore the freezing cold that numbed my hands and feet.

I walked along for hours. The cold grew harsher and worse. I felt terribly alone. I refused to allow myself think about my family. It would only make things worse. Pressing forward with determination I made my good progress on my journey to nowhere.

I walked along for days. Half frozen with cold, I didn’t know how much longer I could go on. A horrible feeling of emptiness filled my heart. I shivered and walked on with my head bent. For the first time since I had left home, my eyes filled with tears and I began to cry. Sitting down on the frozen ground, I buried my head in my knees and sobbed.

As I sat alone, crying, I felt something gentle touch my shoulder. Looking up, I wiped the tears off of my face and saw a young woman standing above me, smiling. She was the first living thing that I had met in the frozen waste land that I had been traveling through.

“I wondered if you needed a place to stay.” The woman looked at me with a mixture of compassion and curiosity.

For a moment I didn’t reply. The thought of a warm place to stay with a good meal filled me with warmth. I was ready to say yes, when a thought appeared in my mind. I had run away to prove to myself that I needed no one.

Turning to the woman, I forced myself to say, “No, I’m fine. I can take care of myself.”

The woman looked confused but nodded and left. A wave of loneliness washed over me. Standing up, I grabbed my bag again and continued down the lonely path. Many other people asked me if I needed a place to stay. Each time I refused, saying that I was strong enough to bear the cold.

Living the miserable, sad life, I began to wish to return to my home and to my former life. Why had I left in the first place? Shaking my head, I continued my walk. My family would never have me back again.

The cold became too strong and too harsh. Falling to my knees with tears streaming down my face, I buried my head in my hands.

“I’m sorry!” I prayed in a whisper. “Please, just let me go back home.”

There seemed to be no answer. There was only the strong wind. There was no hope for me. I would freeze to death here in the cold snow. All alone, no mother to weep over me, no father to mourn, no siblings to miss me. I was completely alone.

As I sat in the cold snow waiting to die, hope came. A young woman saw me and came up to me. She saw my plight and offered to take me to her home. A struggle went on in my heart. If I didn’t accept help, I would die with cold. But if I accepted the help so kindly offered to me, I would be admitting that I didn’t have all the answers.

I nodded shyly and said, “Thank you. I will go with you.”

That was the beginning of my healing. I accepted that I couldn’t do everything and that I needed to depend on others. Slowly joy returned to my life. At last I summoned the courage to return to my family. They welcomed me back with shouts of joy. I was unworthy of the love they offered. I have never forgotten what I learned from my attempt at escape.