Recently I had an assignment to pretend to be a friend who was struggling and then to encourage her. I chose to write it out in the form of a letter (since most of my friends are my pen pals). I made up a girl named Marisa, wrote out her letter to me and then responded to it…. This is the fruit of my labor. 🙂 I hope it encourages you.
I feel like I cannot go on anymore. Life seems so full of pain and hurt. I feel like God doesn’t care at all anymore. I wonder why he didn’t just kill me when I was born. Then I wouldn’t have to suffer through this awful pain and hurt. I have no purpose at all in life. Does God make stupid people who serve no purpose at all? If he does, I am one of those people.
If God is all knowing and is in control of everything, why doesn’t he just fix the world? Why doesn’t he make everything right again? I don’t understand why God would do make me go through this season of life when it seems utterly fruitless and full of pain. Doesn’t he love me anymore?
I feel utterly and completely worthless. I feel like a mistake. Like maybe I was an accident. I have no purpose at all. Some people have amazing stories to tell! Mine is mainly sad and boring. Anything I touch, I destroy. I can’t do anything right. I am an ugly girl with a failing life. Who could love someone like me?
No one knows the real me. I can hide away and I can keep most of myself hidden. How can I open myself up to be hurt? How can I trust anyone? Will they just take advantage of me? If anyone saw every part of me and knew everything that I had done, they would hate me as much as I hate myself. That is why I wonder if God loves me anymore. Have I done one too many things? Will his love run out?
Life is a hopeless place. There is no joy, no hope. There is only pain and sorrow and suffering. Why would anyone want to live here? Do eyes other than mine see this as a hopeful place? Can there ever be joy again in my life? My world is so broken and so confusing now. I just want to be done with everything. What is the point of pressing on anymore?
Your broken friend,
Oh my dear friend! I am sorry that you are hurting so much. I have been praying for you every day and I hope that God will show you his purpose in this time in your life.
I know that it can often feel like God has abandoned us, especially in hard times. But the truth is that He is still with us. He is guiding us and leading us through each time and season of our lives. Even if you don’t believe it right now, it is true.
Oh Marisa, God has given you a purpose to your life! You are alive today to serve a purpose in this world! I know that it is easy to believe that we have absolutely no reason to be alive and that we are simply toiling through our days, but the truth is that we are each created with a special design and a special plan. We may not yet know that plan, but God does. He has woven for each of us a beautiful story that is full of twists and turns; full of pain and hardship but also of joy and peace.
I have often wrestled with the questions that you ask. I have often wondered why, if God is in control of everything, he doesn’t make the world right again. I believe that one day the world will be made whole again. But for now, we will continue to live with the consequences of our sins.
Yes, God still loves you. Sometimes we are given times of testing and during those times we often feel very alone. We must persevere and not believe the lies that we hear all around us. God has seen all of your mistakes and all of your failures but he loves you despite of those things. He is not surprised by anything that you do. Before you do it, he already knows. His love for you is immeasurable. He has covered your sins with his blood. As psalm 103 says, “The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love towards those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does her remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.” He knows that we are weak. He has compassion on us. He loves us with steadfast love. He is slow to anger and abounding in love for you, Marisa! He removes our sins from us. He loves you so much, Marisa!
You are certainly not a mistake, Marisa. God never makes mistakes. He made you for a purpose. He has a special plan for your life. Your story was not meant to be like everyone else. You are unique and beautiful and you have a special purpose to serve out. And as for you being worthless…Marisa, you are NOT at all! God loved you enough to die for you. That makes you worth more than anything in this world.
I know that life can often seem hopeless. Sometimes it is hard to see beyond the pain of the moment. But there is hope for the future. Even if it feels like there isn’t, the truth is that hope is here! Jesus is our greatest hope and he will never leave us. Because of his sacrifice, we have hope for the future.
Never give up, Marisa. Keep pressing on. Keep running the race that is set before you. When your strength is gone, Jesus will give you strength to continue on. Hold fast to him and you will find a peace that you can get nowhere else. God is with you in the darkest times of your life. He never forsakes you. You are his child, Marisa. Remember that! There is hope because we know the one who died and rose again for us!
Keep hoping and holding onto our Savoir, dear sister!